I’ve been actively job hunting this past couple of days but everything is just so disheartening.
I’ve been out of work for 10 months now, and honestly I never really expected to be unemployed for so long. I was thinking that I would just take a months rest since I felt like my last job was so stressful that it literally consumed my entire life. Most people think that it’s important to prioritize your job because that’s how you take care of your family but I’m one who thinks that having time for the people I love is very important. I mean what’s the purpose of working to provide when the time comes that your family or significant other feels neglected and leaves you. Okay, so I’m veering away from the topic at hand.
This past couple of days I have been out there looking for a job. I wasn’t merely passing my resumes online, I was actually going to offices to submit my resume. I wanted to make sure that the people who I’m applying for actually sees the dedication I can give if I was hired by their company. I mean me going out in the middle of the day with the sun high up and going to endless traffic in the metro that’s Dedication.
As usual I did not receive any calls or messages though I made sure I was as presentable as I can when I get to their office. I did get a couple of emails telling me that as much as they would like to hire me I am too “UNDERQUALIFIED” for any positions open for hiring. I’ve been receiving a lot of this messages lately and I can’t even get mad because I’m pretty aware of it. All the jobs that I had never really gave me a chance to develop and I never really questioned it. I’m quite old and still when you look at my resume it’s like I have no career direction.
But during the past months, I’ve contemplated that maybe I was not meant for a 8 to 5 jobs. I don’t feel productive and I feel like I was not growing in any company I was in. It’s not because I was not interested with the company’s I worked for but because I felt like it was just not for me. I’ve worked for so many industries, big and small, but I was just not happy. I know work is not suppose to be fun but when I look at my colleagues they seem to be happy and satisfied with what they are doing. I am not satisfied.
It’s sad that I’ve wasted 7 years of my life unfulfilled aimlessly following what society has dictated me to do. Not really knowing if the next job would finally be it because I’m getting too old and no one would hire me. I’m happy when I’m being creative, I’m not good at it JUST YET but I’m satisfied.
But my family is not happy with my current status and is pushing me to find a job. I don’t want to but I have to, people tell me this is what you have to do as an adult. It makes sense but for for once I want to do what I want to do but that’s just me being selfish.
I’m sorry to anyone who took the time to read this and I just went on ranting. I did not mean to complain about my life especially when I know that 80% of it is my fault. I actually wanted this to be a positive place for me but I feel like I couldn’t talk to anyone at home regarding this because of their preconceived idea that finding an employer is the only way to earn money.
Okay, this blog post is a downer, just so you know, I might be giving in to what society is telling me to do but this time I’m not going to give up what I want to do. I will work hard until I can do it as my main source of income and enjoy it at the same time.